Plastic Tubes

*BuzZoom*

Channel 55 (Thah-Thah TV): Maybe I asked for too much. 8 bucks isn't that much, is it? Hmm... maybe it was cuz I could only work part time or maybe it was because I came around lunch time and he was kinda cranky.

Bah! Whatever. Working at Tower would have been bad for me anyway. Stupid moneyless pockets! I hate job hunting. I wish I was a 6 month old Hispanic twin so I could get a part in the Matrix sequels, but alas, I'm only an unpopular Asian dood.

The other day, when I was supposed to be studying, I flipped through the channels and came across Fox's Surprise Weddings 2, and that voice in my head said "that's retarded", but I watched it anyway. I guess it's sort of like when you're depressed, and you know thinking about it, and listening to depressing music will make you feel worse, but you do it anyway.

Yeah, so the deal was these anxious and emotionally fubared women brought their gullible boyfriends on the show, leading them to believe that they were attending a dental convention of some sort, when in actuality, they were attending their own wedding.

*click*

Channel 27 (The Juvenile And The Fidgety):

Pastor: Jim, do you take Monica as your lawfully wedded wife?

Jim: I... I...

Monica: You love Samantha, don't you Jim! You love her! That's why you wandered off at the bake sale! *sob, sob*

Jim: Oh my darling, Monica. I don't have any feelings for Samantha... or any women for that matter... I'm gay.

Guests: *Gasp*

*click*

Channel 55 (Thah-Thah TV): --t is love anyway? Most people don't even know. Heck, I don't even know. More than half the marriages in America result in divorces.

I was really surprised that all but one of the couples on Fox's Surprise Weddings 2 got hitched. How weird is that? I was sure at least half of the grooms would have said no to those broken sprinkler heads. So I guess if I wanted to get married, all I have to do is assassinate David Blaine, learn a couple magic tricks, court Josie, and bring her to Fox's Surprise Weddings 3. See. Who said you can't learn anything watching TV? I still think that we're just a bunch of television watching, Bovary zombies, searching for delectable--

*click*

Channel 85 (PornoVision - "Adam's Patch"): --rock-hard, hairy toungue depresso--

*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*

Channel 27 (The Juvenile And The Fidgety):

Monica: No you're not. What about that time under the giant macaroon at the Cookie Convention?

Jim: ... it was a giant coconut flake... with frosting.

Monica: *sob, sob*

Pastor: Hey Jim, umm. Maybe we can get a cup of coffee afterwards? *wink*

Jim: Why yes, I'd love to.

*click*

Channel 55 (Thah-Thah TV): So what I'm trying to get at here is that we, ourselves, don't even know who we really are, how we really think and feel. We are so fixed on how we should think, when we should just think. *burp* It's like we're all addicted to these brain sucking--

*click*

Channel 666 (Martha Stewart Living): plastic tubes can be placed in intricate patterns, circling the whole fish filter ornament. Now, isn't that lovely... Fish Filter Ornaments. It's a good thing.

*click*

Channel 8 (Telemundo - "The Weakest Link" in Español): Usted es un hijo débil de una vaca. Adiós.

*click*

Channel 55 (Thah-Thah TV): Neil Postman is hella boring.

*zap*

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