Me and the guys met Danny, Lun, and Zhong near the library today. Boss was acting crazy as usual, but this time with more energy cause he was on SobeŠ and it was cold. We chopped it up and the convo was mildly entertaining until the trekkies got into furrangi talk. Danny and me stood there with quizzical smirks while Albert was telling a story about "aliens with breasts sticking out their heads."

Somewhere in the conversation, we segued from alien nipple dos to the infamous asian-girl-and-white-dood-talk, a topic that comes up regularly in conversations between single asian males. It seems that the recent increase in the sightings of white males with asian females has sparked some kind of jealousy within our population. And there's also the constant nightmare that "we're gonna be extinct," as Danny so eloquently puts it.

Daniel goes on and tells his story about meeting these white doods and how they were telling him about their experiences with asian girls. Turns out that once they "went asian, they never wanted to go back to those white chicks" cause "white chicks" ask for too much. Asian girls are apparently more submissive, according to the white dood, and out of all the different asian girls he has gone out with and compared, Japanese girls are the easiest... My wife is half Japanese, g'dangit!

Of course this felt like some dood, possibly white, had stuck hot coals inside the back of our heads. Boss, being the most animated in the group, took his SobeŠ bottle by the neck and started choking it... He was either really drunk and angry or he couldn't wait to be alone.

Anyways, our frustration and jealousy mounted and it got to the point where our maniacally twisted minds decided to get creative. In the hour length tete-a-tete, we managed to form a secret underground cult comprised of 7 like-minded individuals with the intention of taking our women back. (Shhhh! Don't tell nobody or we'll hafta keeell you.)

The only problem is that they're not our women to begin with.

Okay... I'm gonna get real corny right now... women aren't possessions. So what if they're Asians like us? It don't mean that they automatically belong to asian doods or any kind of doods. They can do whatever they like.

What I think is the problem is that asian males are misrepresented in the media. Whenever you watch movies or sitcoms, the asian guy is always the fat little Chinese kid with glasses that giggles a lot, or that kung fu dood that doesn't know how to speaky engurish named Akbar, and if you happen to see an asian guy that does know English, he's gay or he's a geek sportin' the newest pocket-protector/tissue dispenser... "neato" *snort, snort* Why can't James Bond be Burmese? White doods always get the coolest gigs. We need some asian guys in those icky chick flicks.

But really doe, I think that Amy Tan is solely responsible for the demise of asian doods. Joy Luck Club killed us! The only time you see Chinese guys that actually look cool, that aren't gay, that aren't nerds, that aren't named Akbar... and they're all friggin' jerks. And of course the story gets better when all of the daughters get white boyfriends and husbands.

Don't get me wrong now. I have nothing against white doods. I'm in no way a racist... absolutly not. I know a lot of cool white guys. Now it's those damn Italian guys I'm talking about. Damn those Italian guys! Stupid freaks with big noses!

"She's a kind of ugly girl, but I like ugly girls better though cause pretty girls can do anything, but ugly girls have to do everything." -- Jack Sheldon

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